12 Most Basic Speaking Mistakes That Crumble Seasoned Presenters

When I’m not giving seminars or coaching professionals on interpersonal communication skills, I officiate non-denominational wedding ceremonies. (check out my Bio for my story!)

Recently, I attended a networking event where the keynote speaker, Jack (name changed), introduced a marketing platform aimed at the millennial wedding market.

Within minutes of Jack’s talk, I began to wonder, “Does this guy know who we are?”

Because I coach nervous professionals on how to present in smart, strategic ways, I’m used to dealing with jittery neophytes. However, it had been a long time since I attended a presentation by a seasoned pro who truly bombed. Ouch! I know. . .

It happens to the best of us (yes, including me). In reflecting on Jack’s talk, I was struck by how he made the most basic speaking mistakes. He reminded me why those mistakes are so basic.

Here are –

The 12 Most Basic Speaking Blunders That Will Turn Off an Audience


  • Fail to establish credibility. Jack was not introduced by anyone in the wedding industry. He introduced himself by giving us his resume – which didn’t contain a connection to the wedding industry. He had no story that could assure us he knew who we were as a professional group.
  • Dress inappropriately. Jack wore a standard blue suit and red tie that made him look uncomfortable and too much like a salesman. Am I nit-picking? Sure. But because he failed to connect with us through a story, his clothes enhanced his overall appearance as an outsider who wasn’t clued-in to who we were.
  • Use a schoolmarm tone. After arousing our suspicions that he had little understanding of who we were as an audience, he began to recite statistics about the U.S. wedding industry. He presented canned information most of us already knew in a tone that made me feel like I was in a classroom. He didn’t grasp that we were seasoned pros at the top of our game.
  • Manhandle the mic. The microphone was on a stand. When Jack spoke, he tended to move away from the stand, which meant his voice frequently dropped out. Those in the back of the room had a hard time hearing him.
  • Fumble with the PowerPoint. Jack got off to a shaky start, and when he couldn’t smoothly transition from slide to slide, he rapidly lost our trust in his competence. He became distracted, thrown off balance and had difficulty talking to us.
  • Turn your back on the audience. At one point there was a major glitch with the laptop. Jack focused on fixing the tech problem (even though there was a tech guy nearby), turned his back on us and stopped talking. We all started talking with each other – about him!
  • Presume your co-presenter is prepared. Jack co-presented with a tech guy whose job was to explain the site’s technical gaming innovations. However, the tech guy failed to clearly set up the concept of the website’s game. People quickly felt lost, and asked questions tinged with annoyance. His abstract answers did not smooth over our concerns.
  • Play video of someone more engaging than you. At one point, Jack played a video from the website’s founder. While the video was polished, it added two problems. First, the founder was more engaging than Jack. Second, the founder lives in Ireland and said nothing to make us believe he understood the American wedding market.
  • Avoid answering questions directly. Jack had an agenda and was determined to stick to it. He spun all of his answers to the purposes of that agenda.
  • Make lame jokes. Jack’s jokes were at the expense of his younger, better-looking tech colleague. He aimed the jokes at the women in the audience, but he didn’t realize the group’s collective sense of humor was more sophisticated than his jokes.
  • Insult potential buyers. Jack explained that the website’s vendor page does not list photographers and videographers separately. It lumps them together under the “captured memories” heading. When a videographer pointed out that what he does is different from a photographer, Jack dismissed him with, “It’s all visuals.” Ugh!
  • Offer no way to follow up. Jack ended by thanking us and said he hoped we’d consider joining this new and exciting marketing venture. But he didn’t give us any information about how we could join and if we could get a special introductory rate for attending the talk.

Twenty-four hours later, I couldn’t describe in one sentence what Jack’s talk was about.

And as I tell those I coach in public speaking skills, the first thing you want to do before crafting your presentation is – state in one sentence what you want an audience to remember 24 hours after your talk.

And what is THE one thing we want every audience member to remember?

They were seen. Their needs were understood.

Jack’s biggest mistake was that he focused on selling a product, not forging a relationship with a new demographic – high-end wedding professionals.

He wanted to impress rather than connect.

It only makes sense he made so many basic presentation mistakes.

Every audience member silently asks the presenter,

“Do you see me? Do you know what I need?”

Mistakes abound when we forget that competence is rooted in seeing the customer.

People leave a winning presentation believing that the presenter understood them and offered them something worthwhile.

My presentation coaching clients know that this is what the “business” of confidence is all about!

Jack made me re-examine my presentation style and reflect on where I’ve become sloppy.

What about you?

What can you do to reassure audience members that you see them?


Do you want to develop as a smart, strategic presenter who is remembered

for all the right reasons?

Let’s talk!

Email me to set-up a call


Right now there are people who need to hear what you have to say and I look forward to helping you reach them!

The So–Called Randomness of a Communication Coach’s Life in Los Angeles

A couple of weeks ago, driving south on the 101 freeway, just before I got to the 110, I passed a building I never noticed before. Spray-painted on the side: “You deserve the right kind of love.”

I smiled in ready agreement but then wondered, “what is the right kind of love? Is the right kind different for me than for others?”

Later that day, I met with Rita and Peter (all names changed) who are getting married this summer at a 5-star resort. Rita’s parents are divorced and her father is footing the entire bill. Only catch – if she invites her mother, he won’t pay for the wedding.

Rita wants a wedding that will blow up Instagram but since her father is paying for it all, she didn’t know what to do.

She claimed her father had put her in a hopeless situation. So, she’s caved and isn’t inviting her mother who lives in Florida.

Actually, though, Rita’s dad hasn’t put her in a hopeless position. Rita has a choice and so as to lessen her guilt, she’s chosen to believe she’s caught in a hopeless predicament.

A couple of days later, while waiting for a haircut, I glanced through an Esquire Magazine interview with the actor Tom Hardy (“Dark Knight Rises” and scores of films).  The guy stunned me with this quote:

I have always been frightened with men, to the point where I couldn’t go into a gym because of the testosterone, and I felt weak. I don’t feel very manly. I don’t feel rugged and strong and capable in real life, not how I imagine a man ought to be. So, I seek it, to mimic it and maybe understand it, or maybe to draw it into my own reality. People who are scary, they terrify me, but I can imitate them. I can stay terrified, or I can imitate what terrifies me.

If you’ve caught one of his movies, you would be puzzled by his admission of fear as he presents as a no-nonsense “tough guy.” In fact, he’s so tough, he’s determined not to be held hostage by the fear-inducing lies he tells himself.

Then, while procrastinating writing this post by cleaning my desk, I found this quote I had scribbled on a post-it:

95% of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies and we can suffer because we believe all these lies.

Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements

Reflecting on the week’s random moments, I’m now wondering if the “right” kind of love we deserve is the love that allows us to not drive ourselves nuts with lies we tell ourselves!

In my experience as a communication skills coach and trainer, I’ve discovered that the biggest lie of all is the lie that “I have no choice” – the lie that my happiness and well-being rests in the hands of others.

I now tell my coaching clients that maybe the “right kind of love” is a love “right” enough that we can face down the fears that our lies conjure up.

A love that lets us wiggle free of the crippling belief that if we don’t match others’ expectations of us then we’ll be harshly judged.

Maybe the right kind of love (for self and others) is the love we take responsibility for. And that’s why undertaking communication skills coaching really is an act of love!



  • Where are you feeling helpless in your life – professional or personal?
  • Are you really helpless – or are you afraid of the consequences that may follow doing what you know you need to do?
  • Why couldn’t you find a way to manage those consequences?
  • Who or what could help you?

Answer these questions and realize that –

Deserving the right kind of love means we stop feeling helpless.

That’s the “business” of CONFIDENCE!