I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life –
and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.
Georgia O’Keeffe (American artist)
Today’s post is a sneak peek for my upcoming Aug 26th speaker training with the awesome Marla Diann of marladiann_mentor_to_creatives where we give our best in a 2-hour training from our 40+ years combined experience of delivering presentations and how to turn those into qualified leads!
Early REGISTER only $99. www.marladiann.com/speaker-training
I’m afraid of heights and especially hate rollercoasters. So, of course, last year what did my godson Finn want for his birthday? He wanted me to take him to Magic Mountain!
When I got strapped into each ride I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I was determined to keep fear in check, but when the ride rocketed, I just screamed my head off.
After each ride I felt like vomiting, yet I also felt satisfied. I hadn’t let fear win. More than rollercoasters, I hate being afraid. I don’t want to be controlled by fear.
I regularly work with people who are paralyzed with the most common of fears – the fear of Public Speaking. Of all the communication skills I coach, public speaking is my favorite. I think it’s because I was painfully shy in high school.
While I’ve not discovered a “secret” formula for overcoming fear, what I have learned is that fear is fueled by clinging to a lie – a lie that seems so true that to deny it seems to be a lie in itself.
I see this in many of the people I coach. Take Ralph, for instance –
My greatest fear is not being “enough.” When I think back to my childhood, I remember I thought I was invincible. I did well at so many things, I knew I would have a successful life. However, sometime after high school, I lost faith in myself; faith turned into fear. Fear of not being “enough.” This fear has led me to play it safe, because I am trying to avoid situations where the attention is all on me, or to do things that would embarrass me.
Ralph was a participant in a six-week workshop I offered on breaking through the fear of presenting. For his first presentation, Ralph told an odd story that had the class laughing. Yes, he was obviously nervous, but his nerves didn’t derail the tale. The class gave honest, encouraging feedback. His accent didn’t distract them (Romanian); his nerves didn’t distract them. He surprised them and they wanted more.
For some folks speaking in front of people is as frightening as riding a rollercoaster. But is my fear of rollercoasters the same as Ralph’s fear of speaking?
In a way, yes, because both fears are grounded in the expectation of the worst happening. Both are grounded in believing a lie.
Here’s the thing – we only break through fear by believing in and building on our strengths.
To build on those strengths, we have to know what they are AND we have to know why we have those strengths. If we don’t understand what we’re good at, then we can’t break through fear.
Oftentimes we resist taking a hard and grateful look at our strengths because it’s more comfortable believing the lie that we suck at something. Being helpless can be consoling in an odd sort of way.
True confidence means owning one’s strengths and acknowledging one’s weaknesses – and using both to reach a goal. No one becomes great at something by focusing solely on mistakes.
To learn what you’re good at, embrace the compliments people offer you. They’re not simply being “nice” – they’re acknowledging your strengths.
You have to believe you’re worthy of people’s attention. If you don’t believe you have anything worthwhile to offer then that will come across and people will ignore you.
AND there’s one more piece to all of this –
My 85-year old neighbor, Martha, told me that when she was younger she used to be a pack-a-day smoker. I was stunned as she’s fit and active and I can’t imagine a Virginia Slim dangling from her lips. She went cold-turkey when the doctor told her that if she didn’t quit, she’d die.
Just a lot of Tic-Tacs!
Is it possible to go cold turkey with fear? To just say, “I’m not going to be afraid any more” and pop a lot of Tic-Tacs?!
Martha’s fear of dying was greater than her fear of not smoking.
My fear of turning into a boring person was greater than my fear of speaking in public.
My fear of disappointing Finn was greater than my fear of heights.
The secret to breaking through a particular fear is having a fear that is stronger and more compelling than a lesser fear!
We always have fear. The trick is can you find a fear that will propel you to take action on your own behalf and so smash through that other crippling fear?
The truth is you can lead a happy, successful life without speaking in public. Hoards of people manage to do this. BUT– why limit yourself?
If you develop the skill of speaking something profound will happen.
You will become more YOU.
You will find your voice AND you will learn how to use your voice for the common good.
Do you believe YOU are a “gift?”
Do you believe YOU have something to offer that is a “gift?”
Let your fear of not becoming YOU shatter any crippling lie that mutes you!
I am EXCITED to tell you that I have teamed up with renown Success Coach and Business Strategist @MarlaDiann_mentor_to_creatives to offer a 2-hour Speaker’s training on August 26th.
This Zoom training is for entrepreneurs, authors, coaches, creatives, consultants, and thought leaders.
Registration is now open. https://lnkd.in/gvHRFnq
Speaking is the best lead generator on the planet. How’s it working for you?
Leadership and brand presence have taken on a whole new meaning since Covid hit our lives. As an expert, you have the world at your fingertips like never before due to our required online pivot.
Marla and I are here to help you excel at your speaking platform. Our collaborative and humorous style will put you at ease as you learn what it takes to deliver a compelling, much talked about speaking presentation that creates the reputation you desire and the leads you most want.
Between us we have over 40 years of inspiring and entertaining audiences large and small to help you excel!
I’ve lived the past two decades+ teaching and coaching confidence and purposeful communication to professionals from more than thirty countries, in addition to officiating weddings, writing and keynote speaking.
Marla has three decades of PR, branding, speaking, coaching and leading workshops.
What this means is that you’re in for a jam-packed FUN and enlightening 2-hour training!
Stories – Insights – strategies – inspiration and encouragement guaranteed as we hang out together!
Register early rate at https://lnkd.in/gATBQMv